Wednesday, June 30, 2010

open owl face

I am attempting to get myself together, as far as school goes. i just sent off my transfer application to FAU. I went there two years ago so I'm hoping they will embrace me with open owl arms. If I am accepted I will have only about a year or two in order to receive my Bachelors in English Literature. That sounds so good, and feels good to say. So I am currently praying I am accepted. I plan to move out as soon as possible.

I've been having obscure dreams about what could be if all goes well for once in my life. I also realized I need to trim my hair. My locks are getting long. I always sort of dread cutting my hair. It's so sacred to me. I know they are dead cells, but I cherish them as part of me. So whenever I have enough dough I will have to go through that Hell. Oh, and mother and I are fighting again. What else is new in a young girls life? 21 comes with it's negatives..
Things are a little tough for me right now. Mainly out of uncertainty. I hate not having a straight answer. Please let the relief come soon.
On top of it all...
I miss Jonathan. More than I ever thought I would. Things are quiet now that he is so far away. Though we speak constantly on the phone or through skype, its not the same. I miss the warmth! Counting the days to see his beautiful face once again.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

the super stone

I dream in silk. I don't like to dream in cinder blocks like my closed-minded com padres. Although--silk can stain...but blocks can break. Still, I'm just happy I dream. That's pleasure enough for me.
Have you ever realized you spent a portion of your life in auto pilot? My feet took me somewhere new. I follow where my legs take me most of the time. In other words, I mainly just take what like throws at me. Even if it's something massive and destructible. Anyway, i like that I followed my toes. These babies can now bask in the glory of a hard and lonely search for human connection.

I came across a stone on the beach the other day. Not a shell but a stone. I instinctively picked it up and washed off the grainy sand in the water. But then I thought to myself, I just got so much joy out of finding this stone, I cant take it and risk some other person, with my odd taste in smoothly shaped Florida stones, not discovering it. So I placed in back in the sand where it belongs. I hope you find it.

Also, it sometimes feels like winter even though I know it's not..